Posts Tagged ‘Humor’
Funny but Makes U 2 Think!
April 7th, 2008 | 
Author: All works no play makes Jack a dull boy. So let have some fun too . . .
My son loves this, and you know why!!! :0)
I was at the bank and while waiting for service browsed through the magazines. Here is one I found is funny and true!
If you owe the bank $ 100, then it’s your problem. If you owe the bank $ 100 million, then it’s banks problem.
:0)
Do you know how to do business?
Father: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son: “I will choose my own bride!”
Father: “But the girl is Bill Gates’s daughter.”
Son: “Well, in that case…ok”
Next Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father: “I have a husband for your daughter.”
Bill Gates: “But my daughter is too young to marry!”
Father: “But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank.”
Bill Gates: “Ah, in that case…ok”
Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father: “I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.”
President: “But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!”
Father: “But this young man is Bill Gates’s son-in-law.”
President: “Ah, in that case…ok”
This is how business is done!!
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Before and after marriage!
Before Marriage:
He: yes!!! at last; it was so hard 2 wait
she: do you want me to leave?
He: No! don’t even think about it
She: do you love me ?
He: of course! over n over!
She: have u ever cheated on me?
He: No! y r u even asking?
She: will u go on with me on picnic?
He: every chance I get!
She: will u hit me ?
He: R u crazy? I’m not that kind of person!
She: can I trust u?
He: yes!
She: Darling!
After marriage . . .
Now simply read from bottom to top
Life MATHEMATICS
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn’t need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, “You’re next.” They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.