Cash the Web

Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn’t need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, “You’re next.” They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Here is a crazy thought I had about comparing universe with Internet.

Expansion: It is obvious to everyone that the universe is expanding. So does the Web. Any doubt about it?

Creation: There are millions of stars and planets formed out there in universe. So does the web, millions of new domains and pages created.

Stars: Many stars shine in the universe. So do many .com companies shine on the Web.

Planets: Many planets orbit the many stars. Many small .com centers the big .com’s product or services.

Destruction: The marvelous event “Supernova” occurs in the universe. So does on the Web. Dot com crash is the first web super nova we had!

Black holes: The monster of the universe, black holes are out there. They even attract the light with their gravitational force. So do the Web has black holes. The scammers are the web’s black hole. The method and literacy they use is so powerful if you come close to them, they will empty your valet.

Interconnection: The universe is interconnected. So does the Web. No one needs explanation to say web is interconnected.

Possibilities: Infinite possibilities within the universe. So is the Web. We are exploring the possibilities of the Web.